I was still losing weight and learning to love myself when I met my husband, Rob. How could somebody such as Rob ever like (or love) a person like me?I was afraid he would realize how much work I needed.You might assume that I was actively looking for a boyfriend on OKCupid. By creating an account on OKCupid, I was opening myself up to love, not setting a goal to find love. I asked myself: Losing weight was one way for me to do those things. In the end, those reasons didn’t motivate me enough to stick to my weight loss plans.Whether or not you need to lose weight depends upon your love for yourself. I began to lose weight when I started to become healthier.I wasn’t desperate on OKCupid the way I’d been with Forrest.I was opening myself up to new situations and I wasn’t going to throw myself at every guy who contacted me. I’d lost around 40 pounds since I’d admitted my feelings to Forrest. I’ve worried about others’ opinions for the majority of my life.Yet I forgot the opinion that mattered most—my opinion of myself.
Though it would be interesting to know for certain, I’m glad I never clarified my relationship with Mike.
You need to be able to love, forgive and trust yourself before you can consider giving them to another person.
If you don’t know how to give yourself love, you’ll be clueless how to give it to anybody else. Rob’s ambition, smarts and dedication intimidated me.
I longed to love my body, find joy and live the life I dreamed of. Evan, a blogger and dating coach, explains it well: See, we can’t separate looks from the package.
Being unhealthy, lethargic and cranky weren’t part of my goals. Maybe Forrest wasn’t one of the guys who like big girls. Now I wouldn’t, since I realize what you weigh and eat is connected to how much you value yourself and your life. It’s PART of the package, whether we like it or not.