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Early dating pitfalls

Eventually, we arranged to meet at a cafe near my apartment.

At the meeting, we spent over an hour discussing his writing.

While I did get some messages from men closer to my own age, they were in the minority.

When I actively searched profiles of men in their early- and mid-thirties, I noticed that many specified that they preferred women in their twenties.

As with Bob, anytime I responded to the older men online, thanking them for their interest and reiterating my age-range preference (which clearly specified 31 to 42), I was offered a patronizing lecture on the value of an open mind and a laundry list of reasons they are young at heart, complete with winking references to their still-spry sexual prowess.

I was also inundated with examples of famous couples with large age differences, in case I didn't know them.

At 20, she had me and for the next three years, my father harassed her over money (she made much more than him); he also let her know that, while she may have had straight As in high school, he, a junior high dropout, was the smarter of the pair.

Plus, being so young, she was “more likely to put up with him,” he said.I specified that I would date men in their early thirties to early forties - “no exceptions", I wrote.A few men didn't listen, but I managed to weed out most of them.At 18, my mother met and married my 34-year-old father, who was a janitor in the building where she was an executive assistant.Fresh out of high school, my father had been her first kiss, her first sexual experience, her first love.“I don't think it's your writing he's interested in,” she said.I thought back to the white-haired gentleman at the bar who was easily old enough to be my father and shook my head. Over the next couple of weeks, Bob sent me several samples of his writing without a trace of any innuendo or flirtation.I met Bob at a restaurant on a summer afternoon in 2014.I was enjoying a glass of white wine and sharing an entree with a good friend when he sat down next to us at the bar.He asked whether I ever offered coaching services, so I gave him my card.After we left, my friend warned me I shouldn't have done that.

606 comments

  1. Jul 16, 2015. Raise your hand if you want to roll your eyes each time someone says, "Dating is supposed to be fun!" I mean, it's true. Dating is supposed t.

  2. May 29, 2014. A first date is like a preliminary interview--there's interest, but you don't have the job yet. To stay in the running, avoid these first date pitfalls.

  3. As a psychologist in New York City, I hear about a lot of first dates. I love hearing people say, “It was love at first sight,” or, “By the time our first date ended, I knew.

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