Other times, people try to avoid breaking up with their partners because they worry about what it says about them.
One of the most common examples of this are people who realize they are no longer attracted to their partners.
Repeated rejection really wore down my sense of self-worth, and had me totally convinced that I was totally undateable.
And nine times out of ten, what they’re asking for is permission to break up with their significant other…
because they can’t manage to convince themselves that they need to.
Every visit, I’d leave not sure if I wanted to be with this person but as soon as I’d come home loneliness and nostalgia set in and suddenly I’m thinking “Well, it’s probably not as bad as all that. As much as I’m a non-confrontational person, I’ve tried to do some prodding about these issues, and I’ve been met with firm resistance. I don’t enjoy our time together in person, but maybe I just need to get used to it? Staying with her is easier, and safer, and better (so I tell myself). If I break things off now, I will have been wasting her time, for years.
I can deal with this.” Even though I KNOW THIS IS TOTALLY INSANE. She does NOT think she should have to change for my sake. There’s still that person I’ve been talking to on the internet, right? She’ll feel betrayed, furious, devastated, and the thought of that makes me feel physically ill.