Despite this list of reasons why international marriage can be tough at times, I would never, ever exchange it for anything else.
My relationship with my husband has been the most wonderful experience in my life. Corey Heller is the founder of Multilingual Living and the Editor-In-Chief/Publisher of Multilingual Living Magazine.
Below are a few reasons for why I find international marriage difficult. Would they live with me or him or travel between us both? Being that I am not fluent in German (and my German seems to decline steadily each year that we live in the USA), it pains me not to be able to understand nuances of my husband’s language.
Although I wouldn’t say these are necessarily reasons not to marry a foreigner (I chose the title to match our other fun, more positive post), 10. One of us is always living far, far, far away from family and friends. My husband especially feels this when Christmastime rolls around: There is nothing even close to a Weihnachtsmarkt here in Seattle (and where is the smell of roasting nuts filling the air? When I lived in Germany, Thanksgiving came and went without even the sighting of a turkey, let alone family getting together to celebrate. My husband and I have learned to appreciate most of one another’s cultural quirks (this has actually been a fun process overall). Being that one can never know where life will lead us, if my husband and I were to divorce (God forbid), I have no idea how difficult things could get. All in all, international couples who divorce tend to have more difficult decisions to make when compared to those who live in the same country. When we visit his family, I often don’t understand subtle jokes and can feel like an outsider. However, international marriages take just that little bit more.
We’ll hope to work out college and retirement as best we can. At least one set of grandparents is always far away. Or will we let our children decide based on where they are living?
Our children will never be able to have both sets of grandparents living nearby. Skype is a wonderful thing but it still doesn’t replace spending time with real, live grandparents, aunts and uncles. And here is one more general question: Where will we be buried when we die? Many of us know the answer already while others have no idea.
Corey, an American, and her German husband live in Seattle where they raise and homeschool their three children, ages 15, 14 and 12, in German and English.Reply Hi Judith, reading your post made me slightly nervous That’s because I’ve been with my fiance for over 5 years & your story made me wonder if my relationship will end the same way?Right now I’m in her homeland where I’ve been living for over 5 years. When you ask God for someone to Love as I did I was thinking of a beautiful person within my race but God gave me what I asked for and what he thought so needed and the same goes for you all. Of your worrying about how someone views your spouse then don’t get married . Thank you for bringing God into this picture of people’s lives.And it is a good thing because I would have killed the bastard! We first met in California and started dating also lived together for three years in California and that was 17 years ago . He speaks good English but communication is a challenge for us.I hate any male that even raises his voice at a woman let alone hurts one! I was actually searching for something else and I read 10 reasons why not to marry …… We have been married for 16 years next month is our anniversary:). His way of communicating is saying work was good, family is and is all good.How else can our families see their grandchildren/niece/nephews grow up? While others are investing their extra dollars in college or retirement accounts, we are saving up for our next airline tickets to Germany!We love visiting family but it can put an added strain on our marriage since we never really get a “true” vacation to places that we’d like to visit and don’t know a soul. ,000 is a lot of money which we’d love to be able to invest for the future.Two girls, 8 and 5, moving with me to my original country, and daddy is moving to a third country to work.Daddy remains on skype and will come sometimes …poor kids.Our choice to invest it in the present to visit family in Germany is important to us but it does hurt at times.Our children’s grandmother won’t be alive forever so we do what we can to visit her as often as we can.